Ok well I have to say I’ve learned a lot from this whole entire project. No seriously I really learned something here. When this whole project started out i was pretty sketch about the whole thing because i had to do with something I do every single day and I can’t help myself sometimes. Smoking, people say it’s the stress medicine but really its not. When people smoke they tend to gain more stress because it causes your body to put in more work. Smoking didn’t help me during this project and it actually put my body to some serious stuff.

I couldn’t help but have at least 1 or 2 for the first couple days, and limiting myself was one of the hardest things to do because I wasn’t that type of person to limit themselves in that type of situation. Whenever I was around my friends I found it easy to yes to just one cigarette and i didn’t think about anything else.

While the first couple weeks passed I seemed to grow a little sick because I hated the taste, or it just wasn’t helping me out. As the days went by so did the cigarettes. It was at a point where i didn’t want to smoke because I wasn’t feeling so well. During that time period of my sickness it got me thinking in some ways. If smoked it wouldn’t help me what so ever because it would cause me to get sick again. At one point I thought I was going through withdrawal but I was just having my moments. I felt as if I was in a constant moody position and I couldn’t even think straight. Even my family members thought something was going wrong because I wasn’t myself.

The main thing I learned about this whole project and experience, Smoking isn’t always the best thing and I know I can find something as an alternative. It would benefit me in so many ways because as of now my lungs aren’t doing so well and my health needs to be so much better. If I cut back on the smoking I know it would help me a lot. My family is important to me and I don’t want them knowing that I smoke and that my life is at risk 24/7.Sometimes I can imagine my life without smoking but yet I cant because that’s how I pretty much interact with others. Im a social smoker and I would say a casual/ habitual one. If I keep smoking I know something will happened and if I don’t then I know that something great is coming up. RAWR I just hope I can keep something up in the mean time, I’ll stick to my video games. And if that doesn’t work then shit, I don’t know what will help me out because im honestly out of ideas and I don’t know if I can think of any more plans. I just need to keep moving and have faith that ill do well later on.

Didnt have to go to school today, why? because no need to. It finals week and im planning on studying with me myself and I. well i hope i get better soon because its been to long already -_- and im not in the happiest mood. I feel as if ive been sick forever. Its not stopping me from hanging out with my friends but its stopping me from enjoying things because i cough and constantly cough. I need to get rid of this shit asap. And if i work this week while im sick?! ill have to kill someone. RAWRAWR, and i guess you can say im improving…in a way. Btw i still need to do homework and its fucking 2:27 am i have a final in 5 hours -_-

Did nothing important and honestly nothing to even blog about. I didnt smoke, and you already know why -_- This sickness is the only thing keeping me away from smoking and its a good thing but bad. I hate being sick because i feel lazy and tired 24/7 I hope i get better sometime soon because i want to enjoy my december FCK !

I went to get soup with my neighbor and it was honestly refreshing because i needed it omg. The soup made me feel a lot better and i have to thank him. After eating i was in foodcoma and i just wanted to sit down and chill. You may think i smoked but no i did not. Later that night i chilled with my babe and we went downtown. Bowling and starbucks <3

So i went to the doctors friday morning, and it was not crackin. My doctor told me i need to use an inhaler and im not breathing correctly. FML right? my sister looks like shes getting worse and i dont know whats going on with my family because some are and some arent sick. RAWR this cold and weather is just kicking my ass.

I didnt enjoy school because i was sick -_- I didnt even have fun after school because i wasnt feel well. I just wanted to go home and relax. I got food with jason and i went straight home. I felt like the wall the spinning and i dont know why. My head was hurting and lightheaded, i didnt even smoke and i dont understand. Wtf is wrong with me? i know this isnt just your average cold

School was school and im still sick. KILL ME NOW, because i feel like epic shit. I HATE HOW I CANT DO ANYTHING ! I went home and just sat down in my chair and listened to music. I wish i can feel better already fauck

I showed up at school and my friends said i looked like i havnt eaten in a while ahaha and that makes me laugh. I couldnt speak because my throat was killing me and i didnt know what to do because i was in this death mode.SERIOUSLY, school was a bitch because i couldnt function, and i didnt even want to think about smoking .

I stayed in bed, and i got my sister sick. Im coughing like theres no tomorrow and i dont think ill get any better any time soon. I feel retarded for missing class and im affraid i will be dropped from my classes.I didnt eat today because im not hungry, and i dont want to eat. And of course i didnt smoke.

Im being serious. I cant even think right now, im super tired and sore. It hurts to talk and im not smoking. This sickness is the only thing helping me right now. And i havnt seen my friends in a while. I hate being sick and it fucking pisses me off.